Today is Mother’s Day in the USA and internationally (in the UK it is always in March), and I am thinking of all empty armed mothers across the world who, like me, have lost much loved and much wanted babies.
We are all members of a “club”, but a club that none of us ever wanted to be part of in the first place. Now we are in this club, there is no way out. As the line from the song “Hotel California” by The Eagles goes, “You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave.”.
It is so true. I’m sure all of us out there who are bereaved mothers think about checking out, especially with the passage of time, but we can never leave this club. We are in it for life, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, until the day we die. We will never leave it and we will always be a lifelong member of this club.
I hope beyond hope that today is a gentle day for you and that it passes peacefully. I remember my first Mother’s Day without my Frankie all too well – I cried for most of the day, did nothing and just sat on the sofa with the TV on. I wasn’t really watching it, because I was consumed with grief at the loss of my precious son. This year it was a tiny bit easier, I didn’t mope around, I went out and I tried to make it like any normal day. My husband bought me beautiful flowers and they lasted for weeks.
I was absolutely honoured to receive this image from one of my fellow angel mummy friends in the USA, it touched me so much when I saw it on my facebook page I burst into tears, as she left a comment to say that she had made it especially for me:
I smiled to myself as well when I saw it, as there are times that I don’t feel like a mother because I don’t have Frankie with me, but this beautiful image reinforced the fact that I am indeed a mother, albeit an empty armed one, but I am still a mother.
Thanks to Frankie, who gave me the gift of pregnancy, of feeling a baby move and kick inside me, and of childbirth, I am a mother.
Nothing, and no-one, can take that away from me – ever.